Possibly the only bad thing about having a baby--for me at least--is the extra 25-30 pounds that are currently residing around my hips/belly. I am getting so annoyed by seeing them there. And by seeing the number that is currently ruling my life (bad, I know) every time we donate plasma (they weigh you in). I'm also frustrated by watching that number rise even though I am running at least 4 times a week and working out at least 5, usually 6 times a week. I've cut back my portions. I've cut back on sweets. I've gotten myself into pretty good shape--definitely better shape than I was in before I was pregnant. So why is nothing happening? Why have I gained 5 pounds in the last month? I would love to tell myself that muscle weighs more than fat (yeah, I know it really does) but my jeans are all telling me, "Hey, you've still got a lot of fat." I just want to wear clothes I like again. I want to fit into something. I want to stop feeling so frustrated every time I get dressed or see myself in the mirror. Why is that too much to ask of my body? I can't stand it. I HATE how I look right now but don't know what else to do to change it. And that makes me mad. It makes me mad that I am letting numbers get the best of me. That I can't feel good about myself until I've hit some magical number. But for some reason I can't. I don't know how to accept myself the way I am. And I'm not sure I want to.
So here is the plan. Until I can come to accept my size, I'm going to work on losing weight. Goals/Stats:
1. NO sweets unless I will really offend someone by not having one.
2. Work out AT LEAST 5 days a week. Hopefully 6. 3-4 of those should be running.
3. Smaller portion sizes. No seconds, unless you are still so hungry it hurts.
4. Snacks are ok, as long as they are healthy snacks (i.e. fruit, veggies, etc.)
5. Weekly weigh in/measurements=Thursday (post)
6. Weekly goal check=Thursday (post)
7. Weight watchers? I am trying to stay away from programs because they cost $$ that I would feel bad spending.
Current weight: 167 lbs.
Goal weight: 127 lbs.
Mini goals: 157 lbs. 8/27/09
147 lbs. 10/01/09
137 lbs. 11/12/09
127 lbs. 12/31/09
Lbs. to lose: 40
I would LOVE to lose everything by Reed's first birthday, but I am trying to realistic. AND I think I was about 135 lbs. prepregnancy, so this will put me a little smaller than I was then (which is a good thing). Wish me luck!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)